I heard these words in one of the lectures from Sadguru. I don’t regularly listen to such lectures but this statement was very powerful and it disturbed me. This phrase or quote or whatever it is, made me think deep. I felt this statement was very true because I was able to relate this to my state of mind. A few years back, I used to be very happy when I stay alone and when I travel alone to many places. I used to enjoy every moment being alone because I loved being alone. I thought I’m the only person who can give a good company to myself. It is not that I had hatred towards others or I did not have any friends but I still preferred to stay alone because it gave me strength and good feel.
This was during my young age and I felt very confident and motivated for staying alone. My friends used to say that loneliness is a painful thing but I never realized any such things when I stayed alone and tried to spend time with myself. But there was this little shift to those thoughts when I started feeling the pain when I was alone. It was exactly after my first breakup. Before my breakup, I used to be the happiest person in the world and I used to enjoy being alone but after my girlfriend left me, I was able to understand what loneliness is all about and the pain that it gave. Not that I’m trying to explain my breakup here, but just wanted to take that as a context to explain this sentence.
Its been several years now and I have gained lots of strength on various aspects after that. So, it is definitely not a sad story for me. I would have not learned so much if I had not been alone or if I had not spent time with myself. Even today I prefer being alone and spending time with myself. For the past 8 years, I have been staying alone upstairs even though I live in the same house with my parents. I go down just for having food and other basic things. I come back to my room and stay here most of the time and I really love being like this. This made me feel strong and comfortable. I’m also going to get married soon and things are going to change. I guess I will somehow find a way to adapt to that.
If you cannot stay alone, then you are a highly dependent being I would say. I’m not saying this to demotivate but the truth is that even though it is termed that human beings are social beings and are dependent on the society to live, it is also true that we are also isolated beings. We always have stayed alone in our life. We are not going to bring anything to this world and we are not going to take away anything from this world when we die. After all, when we go in the dark, even our shadow will not follow us. We have to understand that truth. The only companion for ourself is ourself.
If we cannot stay alone and if loneliness is painful, then our mind is really disturbed and it is looking forward to having some companion all the time. If we cannot stay with ourself then how will others stay with us? If we cannot be a company for ourself then who else will be a company for us. We have to tame our mind in such a way that loneliness is also joyful and it gives the opportunity to explore the mystery behind our life and it also gives the opportunity to know more about ourself.