The biggest challenge that I have been facing after my marriage is time management. I’m finding it really hard to spend time with my wife. We even feel that we had more time to spend together before marriage and now after marriage, things are going just crazy. I have to admit that it is true in a way because before marriage we were having the urge to spend time with each other but after marriage, we are so lethargic that we stay with each other and spending time should not be a problem. That has become a lame excuse for me to be honest. We are not having any relationship problems but there is a lack of expression from both sides.
When I have conversations with some of the elders, their first point about relationships is that they ask me to spend more time with my wife and especially during the early days of the marriage. I understand that during the early days of marriage it will take time for my wife to get used to the new environment and new life but otherwise, it thinks it is also important to increase the bonding between each other. Sometimes I used to even think that it was far better before marriage because we were able to manage our time properly for each other. Even though we don’t call each other every single day, there were at least conversations in messages.
It is usually a common hurdle that every working couple faces. I have heard this sort of things even from couples where only one person is a working individual. In our case, as we both are working individuals and our shift timings are completely contradicting, I guess we have this problem. When we start understanding the pattern and plan accordingly, we might probably get used to it. Nowadays we rely so much only on the weekends as that becomes the most comfortable day to spend time with each other.
I have to also say that the way we handle it can differ from one couple to another. Something that worked well for me may not work well for someone else. But there are a few common things that someone can experiment with. I experimented with a few things that can increase bonding. I would like to share that:
Going out for dinner
I should say that just going out itself had a good effect. Whenever we go out together, we both will be filled with lots of love for each other the whole day. That is really a great feeling. We are not the talking type but we feel each other when we are together.
Giving unexpected surprises
This is something that is very common. Especially most of the girls have expectations. The expectation is something that gives more opportunity to love each other. In our case, we both don’t expect much from each other. But we give each other some unexpected surprises that in a way satisfy some of the hidden expectations giving us happiness.
Watching movies together
This worked very well for me. Some days we may not actually have anything to talk with each other. But those days we will still have a feeling for each other and we will feel like expressing it out. I will prefer to watch a movie together in those days where we can hold our hands and watch the movie together. This is also a good feeling. This also creates an opportunity to discuss interests and disinterests we have in our relationship while watching the movie. We will at least have some topics to talk about after the movie about our love and life.